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Mud Vein

Mud Vein - Tarryn Fisher 1.5 Three-Words-One-Meaning-:-WHAT THE FUCK?!? stars

*please excuse the use of cuss words in my review, I'm trying to be a sailor-MOON and cussing is high on my list ;)*

*not sure whether I am gonna rant bout this one since I'm still too fucking surprised by my disappointment to form coherent thoughts at the moment*

I'm feeling chatty (and maybe a bit bitchy, who knows?!) right now, so here we go, my-non-review review of Mud Vein by Tarryn Fisher.

I fucking loved Opportunist. So it'd be the sanest option to expect myself to fucking love this one too, right? Well it may be a sane option, but doesn't mean that it isn't a dangerous one, especially when it ended as what I'd call : DISAPPOINTMENT at it's FUCKING BEST! (cue in, me feeling suicidal)

So lets do a quick recap of how I felt about this book first. (as always, I am pretending like YOU care)

When I got this book, thanks to theVERY interesting blurb and the AWESOME cover, I was like:

AIR LIUR

BUT, while reading it, I was like:

WHAT???

And after reading it, I was like

UNACCEPTABLE

(yes, my life's that tragic!)

Let's take a look at the GORGEOUS cover:

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Now, lets take a look at the VERY INTERESTING blurb:

When reclusive novelist Senna Richards wakes up on her thirty-third birthday, everything has changed. Caged behind an electrical fence, locked in a house in the middle of the snow, Senna is left to decode the clues to find out why she was taken. If she wants her freedom, she has to take a close look at her past. But, her past has a heartbeat…and her kidnapper is nowhere to be found. With her survival hanging by a thread, Senna soon realizes this is a game. A dangerous one. Only the truth can set her free.


Before reading the book, my reaction after reading the blurb:

EXCITED

But now, after reading the book, looking at the blurb makes me feel like this:

crying

( *whispers* It makes me feel suicidal too, but I'm not gonna mention it loudly for fear that rehab's on the way for me..)

Seriously? Don't blame me for expecting something else when the blurb is as fucking misleading as that!

i) "Senna is left to decode the clues to find out why she was taken." ~ Let me fucking correct that, she wasn't left to decode the clues to finds out why she was taken, but she was left, with A GUY, to decode the clues to finds out why she was taken. You see, it's not all about HER, there's a fucking HIM to in the equation, which amazingly isn't mentioned in the blurb!

ii) "...Senna soon realizes this is a game." : she didn't 'soon' realize it, she took forever and the GUY to fucking help her.

iii) "Only the truth can set her free." : not the truth, but her almost-no-existent BRAIN was responsible for setting her free, and not to mention, A LOT OF HELP from THE GUY too!

These really didn't bode well with me. (I hate liars, even though the liars lie by omitting the truth, even when the liars don't mean to lie and even if the liar is a BLURB! A liar is a liar no matter what, so FUCK you blurb!)

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So while reading it, I went from this:

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To this:

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Because it was that UNBELIEVABLY awful, FOR ME!

And don't get me started with the WTF ending. PSYCHO PEOPLE BELONG TO THE ASYLUM!

SUGGESTION TIME! WOOHOO, I'M EXCITED FOR WHATEVER THIS IS, ARE YOU????WHATEVER!

So if you're expecting a romantic story where the hero goes "Oh, you're my true ONE AND ONLY love." Then DON'T read the book. [[HE FUCKING MARRIED SOMEONE ELSE AND SHE WAS A SPINSTER AT 30 BEFORE THEY GOT TOGETHER ALTHOUGH HE SWORE HE HAD BEEN LOVING HER SINCE FOREVER, BULLSHIT TO ME!!!]]

If you're expecting a sadist hell bent on torturing your heroine, then DON'T FUCKING read the book. THE CAPTOR EVEN PROVIDED FOOD (IN A FUCKING FRIDGE!) AND COMFY BEDS (IN ROOMS) FOR THEM! NoT TO MENTION, CUTE TOWELS TOO!

If you're expecting a SHOCK after SHOCK, then DON'T fucking read the book. YOU'LL BE MORE SHOCKED BY HOW NOT SHOCKING THE SHOCKING STUFF IN THE BOOK!

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So as a conclusion, I was BORED TO DEATH reading the book, but don't worry, I am still alive thanks to MIRACLES, and yeah they do exist.


Dear Book,

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Well, the book was a struggle for me..and..

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Oh lastly, AWESOME WRITING!!

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